Monday, May 12, 2008

Nobody's Home

You have to be firm and strong inside, it is the only way. The only fight left in the real world. Your heart have to be hard and black, you have to be strong, stronger than yesterday to face today. The only way through this troubled times is to fight back, and not run away from it. You have to stand up and fight, even though you die in the end, you know you have fought enough. No one is there to stop you from fighting but there will be people who stop you from going to where you are headed. Then you must fight even harder, fight even more. Bleed and fall down, but stand up quickly, because the enemy is not going to give you time to regain your composure. You must hasten your blows and stand up tall and fight back. We must fight for ourselves, not for freedom, not for love, not for peace, but save our own souls before we even fight more.

Life is all about fighting. Fighting to become you want to be, not who you are destined to be. Being the strongest, it is the only way. You have no other alternatives. You have no choice. You have no chance.

Having a darken heart, it is the only way.

Soon I might dead, but I do not even care, I do not care, I do not care. As long as I know, I have fought for what I live for, then I am at peace. Life is such a struggle, an irony. I used to think that life was a breeze, so easy to go and past. But I was wrong. Life is all about fighting. Am I thinking right? I do not care, as long as I can fight.

There are people in the house, there are lives, but in reality, there is nobody home in my heart.There is no one alive. No souls to understand what I am going through, because there are no two souls like mine. My soul will forever be floating and adrift somewhere out there and probably set ablaze by the fires of my own heart. I am disturbed, depressed and finding myself. 19 is too young a age to be going through all of these. Sometimes I love my mental capability, sometimes I despise it. It thinks terrible thoughts, thoughts that are too terrible to be described. I deserve a place at the mental instituition then? One cannot deny my place there if you have had a guided tour of my neuro-connections, passing on a ferry shipped to my core center.

Well, it has certainly made me feel better, writing everything down in letters because only in my writing that I understood myself. How do you save someone who is always fighting?

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little target

Nickname ~ Ena ~

Nationality Thai ( **Kisses for Shopping, no $$ though** )

Interests I adore gaming~ Martial Heroes~, Perfect World and stuff (Old noob) and I love my absolute FPS game - Wolfteam. I love Figure skating and lots of other cool i don't know. I love Lifehouse music, and I think they are great. So are kelly and christina. I love music that can bring tears to my eyes too. :)

Miss Mood Changer~~ my mood varies ( important part of my development ^_^ )

Expertise Designs and graphics, Colors, texture and Computers. Yummy~ brushes, patterns, photoshop, photographs Also makeup, makeup, lots of makeup! Ring me if you need bridal, D&D makeovers

Occupation Graduate of the one and only Singapore Polytechnic Diploma in Media and communications Freelance Host, WebDesigner, Makeup Artist (MUA), Full-time Customer Service officer 


Media and Public Relations, Aviation Authority 

I am a 21 years old graduate of Singapore Polytechnic year 2009 I do feel like picking up the books again but not for something of my line - preferably Dermatogoly or Skin Science. I <3 Science. I don't know why I took Mass Comms.

I want to travel around the world with the love of my life <3 My oyhero ~ and do everything before I die.

Stuff I like

Black Clothes, any Music~, Makeup~, Cameras, Books~, Computers~, and a Nice Big house. ^^ Maybe 100 Billion Dollars is good too. I don't know. Life's too long.