Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Sadness Defined

everyday is a day of sorrow. sorrowful, unexpressed, all hidden inside my reflections which mirrors on to nothing but my soul.

i really miss him. i miss him so much. every night i cried. every train ride to school, saw the road that he used to drive me to school, i cried. everytime i see families with fathers, i cry again.

i can never stop crying. i know crying won't bring him back to me, but it helps me relive the pain that i have inside of me, for a temporary while of course.

such grief is - causing my throat to hurt, my heart to ache and my legs like loose strings. i miss my papa so much. why why why must this happen to me?

i wont be able to walk down the aisle with my father when i get married.
my daddy won't be able to carry his grandchildren. my daddy won't be able the first class hotel that i promised to take him to. my daddy won't be able to see germany's beautiful landscape anymore. daddy won't be able to teach me to drive my first car. daddy won't be able to see me graduate. daddy won't be able to see me pass my 21st birthday where he said he will entitle me my freedom. my daddy won't be able to hear me sing to him again. i cannot introduce more new food for my daddy again.

i cannot swallow, it hurts, a part of me has died. i want my daddy back.

daddy was near perfect. selfless, generous, chivalrous, full of valor, love, passion, the most perfect father no one can ever replace.

sometimes i want to stop crying at night, but it's impossible. nothing but my daddy's happiness and sorrows come into my head. i want to remember him forever.



i love you daddy, and there is nothing i won't do to have you back with me.
Shot By Xiao Long Pai at 9:25 PM

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little target

Nickname ~ Ena ~

Nationality Thai ( **Kisses for Shopping, no $$ though** )

Interests I adore gaming~ Martial Heroes~, Perfect World and stuff (Old noob) and I love my absolute FPS game - Wolfteam. I love Figure skating and lots of other cool i don't know. I love Lifehouse music, and I think they are great. So are kelly and christina. I love music that can bring tears to my eyes too. :)

Miss Mood Changer~~ my mood varies ( important part of my development ^_^ )

Expertise Designs and graphics, Colors, texture and Computers. Yummy~ brushes, patterns, photoshop, photographs Also makeup, makeup, lots of makeup! Ring me if you need bridal, D&D makeovers

Occupation Graduate of the one and only Singapore Polytechnic Diploma in Media and communications Freelance Host, WebDesigner, Makeup Artist (MUA), Full-time Customer Service officer 

Industry

Media and Public Relations, Aviation Authority 

I am a 21 years old graduate of Singapore Polytechnic year 2009 I do feel like picking up the books again but not for something of my line - preferably Dermatogoly or Skin Science. I <3 Science. I don't know why I took Mass Comms.

I want to travel around the world with the love of my life <3 My oyhero ~ and do everything before I die.

Stuff I like

Black Clothes, any Music~, Makeup~, Cameras, Books~, Computers~, and a Nice Big house. ^^ Maybe 100 Billion Dollars is good too. I don't know. Life's too long.