Love :]

all the bits and pieces about falling in love is both must give and take. one cannot simply push push or simply give in too much. hard. i need control and really someone to tame me. hmm. i am kinda wild so pleaseeee!! >.<

i heard this story for a while now. i am going to write it down to remind myself. 

once there live  a smoker, (you know how they tend to age in health faster than non-smokers as they grow older). he met this girl. loved her very much and so on. blah blah blah

after they got married, he stop smoking readily. and began to live a healthy lifestyle. can you guess why he did that? because his wifey asked him? 

nope.

it was actually because he realised that he did not want his wife to grieve for him when he die because of his poor health. instead, he wanted to get on to the next phase of life after his wife had passed on. this will not make her lonely when he's gone. but he will suffer instead because she would be gone before him. lovely isn't it? i wonder if these kind of selfless love still exist. 

when i told this story to my mother, she said maybe daddy didn't (jokingly) love her. 

i wonder if my laogong loves me like that too? 

i dont know. i need an attitude adjustment. i kept having negative thoughts about something. zzz

what do i fear?

pain? rejection? failure? or simply fearing that i will fear when the time comes. 

it is so hard :] to go through all of these alone. mother cannnot understand me. best friends are not best enough. have no sisters to share everything. lets face it. i have no other me. 

looking at enna and jes, cornie and sheryl, lol they are like two peas in a pod! but what about me?im the lone ranger! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ya right. i got no one to discuss fashion tips because my besties don't use make up. i can't gossip to her about guys because her boyfriend (and mine) would kill her. argh well and we can't always go out because she is working. whereas for the loveable me, i am at home, rotting, hoping for money to fall from the sky and looking for a job which will allow me to use my freaking brains. 

i tell you about that salesgirl job. lol. for the first time in my life, i felt so restricted. it was like i was SO supressed and cannot do anything about it. i was merely a robot. standing at the guy laroche and elle bags looking like a utter dumb dumb. i wanted a job which can make me exercise both my mental and physical capabilities.  Make me use my brains or something. i was like an idiot waiting for people to buy my bags. maybe other people can find thrills in a sales job, but not me. anyway, i don't think i would want to work at as salesgirl before. besides, the next day i woke up, i could hardly move my shoulders lol. all frozen. brrrr

i do hope someone hire me soon. i kinda like my resume :] its not astonishingly impressive but at least it's something. all the awards and experience. oh well! :]

a piece of great news! i will be receiveing my officially National Youth Achievement Award Council's GOLD Award on the 3rd of Octocber by Mr. President SR Nathan himself :] wee at Simei ITE. (Why the hell so far?) 

And I need to go for the orientation on the 28th of September, but I can't make it. because.. of..

THE F1 EVENT! i am doing duty as the customer service officer (paddock) thingie. they said i will deal with VIPS :D 

Can't wait. it's gonna be a blast! 

oH, wow, in my 15 years I have lived in singapore, i discovered (with joanna) the thrills of FAR EAST PLAZA. Despite being there so a many times and cannot find anything cheap! I bought 3 belts and 3 earrings all for 15 bucks. Cheap! weeee

I shall pester my mother to go with me! BANKRUPT at the moment! 

I go so much more to write lol. bleah~ i'll write later. hunnie's back from cooking.